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Chapter 6: Why Won't You Have Me?
Today was the same.
Alicia put her hands together as she watched Cabelenus enter the room. If she was honest, she was scared.
His face was expressionless, and he was composed, but his piercing golden eyes reminded her of a beast. He might suddenly reveal his sharp teeth and turn into one at any moment.
"I'm curious about something....."
At this rate, the days kept repeating themselves. Whatever happened, changes needed to be made if she wanted to meet her end. Alicia looked at the man perched on the bed with trembling eyes. Cabelenus didn't reach in any way for a moment and slowly turned to look at Alicia.
"What is it?" Surprisingly, the man spoke quietly.
"Why won't you have me?"
"I didn't know you wanted me to."
Silence filled the room. Cabelenus had answered with ease, but Alicia's mouth became dry.
"If not that, what reason do you have to keep me alive?"
"Does it look like I don't have enough women?" Cabelenus asked whilst slightly tilting his head.
His fine, dark hair rested gently against his forehead, and she saw his eyes gleaming behind them. She hadn't expected this. The man who knew her worth was arrogant, but his appearance was captivating. Funnily enough, the Schwarhan Killer's beauty overshadowed his blood-stained notoriety.
His strong, muscular neck was visible below his sharply chiseled jawline, and further down, the contours of his defined muscles poked through his thin shirt. If one had never seen Cabelenus, they would never have imagined that there would be such a face underneath his bloody black helmet.
"What other reason would you have to spare me?"
"If that was the only reason, I would have saved another princess, not you. Someone who would not be mistaken for a maid."
Cabelenus studied Alicia's face, his chin propped up in his hand. With proper maintenance, Alicia's appearance improved considerably. She was no longer the shabby, disheveled woman from before. But still, nothing he saw he deemed beautiful. Compared to the finest women of the empire, Alicia was quite plain with her rusty-colored hair and dull grey eyes.
"Maybe it was on a whim."
"...."
"Or it could be pity." Cabelenus tilted his head a little.
The man's eyes searched for Alicia, but he could not find the answer. He was fully aware that she was not an attractive woman. But he couldn't forget her eyes. He wanted to see that expression again. Not that defeated look, but the look he saw was full of emotion. It was only after he confirmed this that he realized what he might be doing.
"I don't think you would have sympathy for a princess of a ruined country," she said.
Alicia always had that look on her face. A hopeless look that said she didn't care if she died. She looked at Cabelenus with those ghostly eyes.
"I agree," Cabelenus, who had fully turned to face Alicia, smiled.
He knew better than anyone that he and sympathy did not go hand in hand. Even so, he said in hope that it might be true. For some reason, he hoped that one day, that woman would look at him with more light in her eyes.
"I will not resist."
"I don't enjoy unfeeling, passive women."
"Then kill me." Alicia took a deep breath, her hand on her chest.
Though she was asking for death, the pounding of her heart beneath her hand told her that she was very much alive.
"Why would I do that?"
"Nothing good can come of letting me live. I think you should get rid of useless things."
"You're referring to yourself as an object."
"Slaves are objects."
Regardless of how well she was being treated, Alicia always knew her place. The king's illegitimate child, the princess of a ruined country, and a slave with no clear purpose and who might die at any time. Nothing in Alicia's life had taught her hope.
"I hear there are no slaves in Neustein."
"Not in Neustein, but in Blanche."
Alicia's firm gaze could not be broken.
Certain customs of Blanche had already reached Neustein. It was clear that one day, this place would be more Blanche than Neustein.
"I guess that means you will obey even if I hand you over to an old, ill-tempered man."
"If that's what you want," Alicia replied without any hesitation. Cabelenus's mouth twitched.
"Why do you wish to die so much?"
"Do I have to tell you that?"
"You never know. If I like your story, I may offer you a merciful death. It doesn't seem like you're willing to take your own life anyways."
Alicia's expression darkened. She didn't know what Cabelenus was up to, but the death he was offering was tempting.
"Because I'm tired...."
"Tired?"
"You learn how to give up when you fail to do anything. No matter how hard you try over and over again, you think that it will never happen and you cower first."
"......"
"And there comes a point where even giving up is exhausting. That's all."
"If you're tired, why don't you take your own life?"
Alicia glanced at Cabelenus for a moment, That man's expression hadn't changed, but there was now curiosity in his eyes. Maybe there was a chance it might really all end this time.
Alicia gulped, though her mouth was dry.
"There's a superstition in Neustein that if you take your own life, you will not be able to go to Loubertine."
"Loubertine?"
"It's a land inhabited by people who have led noble lives before their death. Those who have done many good deeds in their life lived with honor, and have never cheated or hurt others. Those who take their own life could not dream to set foot in it."
"I didn't think you'd believe in such superstition."
"I don't......" Alicia weakly shook her head.
Superstitions are merely old tales, nothing else. She has always thought that it was pointless to believe and rely on such things.
"Then why do you follow it?"
"Because there's someone I must meet."
Note: Thank you for reading! Pls don't repost
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